The Problem with #Perfection

Are you a #perfectionist? 

Let’s find out if perfectionism is an issue for you. Here are a few statements for you to consider (retrieved September 19, 2012 from the Centre for Clinical Interventions):

	True	Somewhat True	Somewhat False	False
Nothing good comes from making mistakes
I must do things right the first time
I must do everything well, not just the things I know I’m good at
If I can’t do something perfectly then there is no point even trying
I rarely give myself credit when I do well because there’s always something more I could do
Sometimes I am so concerned about getting one task done perfectly that I don’t have time to complete the rest of my work.

If you have answered most of the above questions with True or Somewhat True, then perfectionism might be something you want to work on.

The problem with striving for perfection is we end up never feeling good enough. As a result, we miss out on enjoying life because our focus is on getting things done or trying to look like we’ve got it together. Dr. Scott Barfoot of Dallas Theological Seminary points out, “Perfectionism is the mental habit of formulating ideal standards that we demand ourselves to meet in order to prove to ourselves, to others, and to God our worth.” Unfortunately, it all boils down to our own self-worth. Perfectionist thinking says, “If I’m perfect then I am worth loving.” Peel back the layers, we find shame. “If you saw me for who I really am then you wouldn’t love me.” So, we work harder and try to perfect ourselves. Dr. Barfoot explains, “Perfectionism is at the root of a works-based faith.”  We were created for love and belonging. But the more we perfect the more we miss out on connecting and loving one another.

Watch this 5 minute video of Brené Brown talking about perfection.

Is this hitting home for you?  The Centre for Clinical Interventions has a great 9 module self-help series called Perfectionism in Perspective.  If you struggle with perfectionism, I encourage you to work through the series. 

Improve Your Mood, Sleep & Relationships with Gratitude

Do you want to have a better life? Need to sleep better? How about improve your marriage? Well, one way to improve your way of living is with gratitude.  Yes, gratitude. Researchers have found that gratitude improves a person’s mood, personal relationships and overall sense of well-being (Barlett & DeSteno, 2006 & Watkins, et al, 2003). One study by Digdon & Koble (2011), found that gratitude interventions help with sleep problems. Isn’t it amazing how such a simple thing as being thankful can have such a profound affect on us? 

While I was reading the book of Philippians one day, I was struck by what my New International Version (NIV) Study Bible commentary had to say about Philippians 4:6-7. If you recall, the verse goes like this…

“⁶ Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. ⁷ And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

 The commentator wrote about this verse (my paraphrase), worry and thanksgiving are two opposing forces; one cannot be worried and thankful at the same time.  “Wow,” I thought, “that’s good.” It occurred to me that we often focus on trying to “stop worrying” but never replace it with anything.  It’s like the “yellow car” exercise where you are told to imagine a yellow car, then told to stop thinking about the “yellow car.”

Can you stop thinking about the “yellow car?” 

Well no, because we continue to talk (or think) about it.  It’s not until we think of something else our thoughts shift. What better way to quiet the worry and anxiety in our lives then to change our focus to being grateful? Apparently, if we practice gratitude we feel better, are less anxious, plus we treat our loved ones better.  And here all along, the Bible had it right. 

Here is one way to practice gratitude: keep a gratitude journal.

1. Get something to write in. It can be a journal, notebook or an iPad app (Yes, there’s even an app for that... get the app here).
2. Now, write down at least 5 things you are thankful for. Be specific.
3. Write in your journal daily. (It’s only 5 things a day, how hard can it be?)
4. Review often. (Reflect on the things that you were grateful for yesterday as well as today).
5. Pass it on. Smile or help someone else. Maybe you’ll end up in someone’s gratitude journal.

Want more information on gratitude journals:

Tips for Keeping a Gratitude Journal
I am Thankful

References:

Bartlett, M. Y. & DeSteno, D. (2006). Helping when it costs you. Psychological Science, 17(4), 319-325.

Digdon, N. & Koble, A. (2011). Effects of constructive worry, imagery distraction, and gratitude interventions on sleep quality: A pilot trial. Applied Psychology: Health and Well-Being, 3(2), 193-206.

Watkins, P. C., Woodward, K., Stone, T., & Kolts, R. L. (2003). Gratitude and happiness: Development of a measure of gratitude, and relationships with subjective well-being. Social Behavior and Personality, 31(5), 431-452.

 

Coping with Depression and Anxiety Group begins Monday

Coping with Depression and Anxiety

Starts July 9, 2012

This is an open, ongoing group, where anyone (men & women) needing support, encouragement and improved coping skills is invited to attend. The group focuses on biblically based cognitive, behavioral, and problem-solving strategies to help cope with depression and anxiety. By attending the group, you will learn:

• How to change the cycle of depression & anxiety by activating and engaging in activities that can improve your mood.
• How to recognize and modify negative thinking patterns that may contribute to your depression and/or anxiety.
• Techniques to prevent further depressive episodes.
• You are not alone.

The group is $25 per session and meets every Monday from 7:15 PM to 8:15 PM at

680 Mayport Road, Atlantic Beach, FL 32233

Registration Required

For more information

or to register, please call:

904-339-5937

OR

Email: admin@afutureforyou.org

Nutrition and Anxiety

I am a believer that good nutrition has an affect on us in all areas of our lives including our mental health.  You may have wondered why on earth does a blog called "Hope and a Future Ministries" share recipes?  Well, it's because what we eat affects us and how we are feeling influences what we eat! Have you ever had a bad day or felt stressed out and go for the junk food? I've had to learn to stop myself and ask "Why am I eating right now?" If I'm not hungry, I realize I'm using the food to cope with my anxiety. Unfortunately, those foods we go to when we are anxious or stressed are often the foods that make the anxiety worse!  A healthy diet can relieve stress symptoms (along with getting enough sleep and exercise). A poor diet can actually affect your brains chemistry. Hall-Flavin (2009) recommends these steps:

• Eat frequent small meals. This will help stabilize your blood sugar throughout the day.
• Increase your intake of carbohydrates (starches).Carbohydrate-rich meals and snacks are thought to increase the amount of serotonin in your brain, which has a calming effect. Eat foods rich in complex carbohydrates (such as whole grains), and eat fewer simple carbohydrates (sugars). (I think he means no donuts, pancakes, or Starbuck's pastries, etc.)
• Drink plenty of water. Even mild dehydration can affect your mood.
• Limit or avoid alcohol. The immediate effect of alcohol may be calming for most people. But as alcohol is metabolized by your body, it can cause anxiety-like symptoms.
• Limit or avoid caffeine. Caffeine is a stimulant that can make you feel jittery and nervous and interfere with sleep. (If you decide to cut back like I have, try going half decaf half regular until you wean yourself off. It's a lot better than a migraine).
• Pay attention to food sensitivities. In some people, certain foods or food additives can cause adverse reactions, including moodiness — which can lead to irritability or anxiety. Foods that commonly cause reactions include wheat, corn, soy, dairy, eggs, nuts and shellfish. (I recently found out that gluten allergies can affect Irritable bowel Syndrome, which is often connected with anxiety disorders).
• Eat some foods that contain tryptophan. Tryptophan helps your brain produce chemicals that improve mood and have a relaxing effect. Milk, bananas, oats, soy, poultry, cheese, nuts, peanut butter and sesame seeds are good sources of tryptophan.

Hall-Flavin, D. K. (2009) Generalized anxiety disorder: Expert answers. Mayo Foundation for Medical Education and Research (MFMER). Retrieved July 10, 2010 from http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/coping-with-anxiety/AN01589

Thanking God for all things!

Philippians 4:6 & 7

Do not worry about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

My NIV study Bible explains that thanksgiving is the antidote for worry. It makes sense because a person can't thank God and worry at the same time. A few weeks ago, I was going through a tough time and was having a hard time going to sleep. My mind was racing and I kept worrying about things. Then, I remembered that thanksgiving is the antidote to worry. I began thanking God for all the things he's provided me. Well, wouldn't you know- it worked. So, this week when I felt myself begin to worry, I was able to begin thanking God. My worry faded and peace increased.

Do you have anxiety? What are you thankful for? Try it today. Begin thanking God for what he has already done in your life.

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