The Problem with #Perfection

Are you a #perfectionist? 

Let’s find out if perfectionism is an issue for you. Here are a few statements for you to consider (retrieved September 19, 2012 from the Centre for Clinical Interventions):

	True	Somewhat True	Somewhat False	False
Nothing good comes from making mistakes
I must do things right the first time
I must do everything well, not just the things I know I’m good at
If I can’t do something perfectly then there is no point even trying
I rarely give myself credit when I do well because there’s always something more I could do
Sometimes I am so concerned about getting one task done perfectly that I don’t have time to complete the rest of my work.

If you have answered most of the above questions with True or Somewhat True, then perfectionism might be something you want to work on.

The problem with striving for perfection is we end up never feeling good enough. As a result, we miss out on enjoying life because our focus is on getting things done or trying to look like we’ve got it together. Dr. Scott Barfoot of Dallas Theological Seminary points out, “Perfectionism is the mental habit of formulating ideal standards that we demand ourselves to meet in order to prove to ourselves, to others, and to God our worth.” Unfortunately, it all boils down to our own self-worth. Perfectionist thinking says, “If I’m perfect then I am worth loving.” Peel back the layers, we find shame. “If you saw me for who I really am then you wouldn’t love me.” So, we work harder and try to perfect ourselves. Dr. Barfoot explains, “Perfectionism is at the root of a works-based faith.”  We were created for love and belonging. But the more we perfect the more we miss out on connecting and loving one another.

Watch this 5 minute video of Brené Brown talking about perfection.

Is this hitting home for you?  The Centre for Clinical Interventions has a great 9 module self-help series called Perfectionism in Perspective.  If you struggle with perfectionism, I encourage you to work through the series. 

One Trick to Enhance Your Overall #Health

What do flu prevention, stress reduction, and type 2 diabetes management have in common?  They are all therapeutic benefits of mindfulness.

Ok, first things first…do you even know what mindfulness is?  What might come to mind is “being mindful” that is, “be mindful of others” or “mindful of your attitude.”  That’s not exactly what practicing mindfulness means.  The website get.gg explains mindfulness as “paying attention in a particular way:  on purpose, in the present moment, and non-judgmentally.”  

Have you ever driven down the road, arrived at your destination without remembering how you got there?  Well, that’s the opposite of mindfulness.  Mindfulness is when you notice the feeling of the steering wheel in your hand, notice the leaves on the trees are turning color and the smell of the fall air.  You are in the moment. Your mind is not drifting somewhere else, you are not worrying about the “what ifs” and you are taking everything in (without scrutiny). Experts have found that when we spend more time “in the moment” so to speak, we have improved health.  Here is what Jeffrey Greeson (2009) of Duke University found out when he reviewed the research on mindfulness:

There is increasing scientific evidence to support the therapeutic effect of mindfulness meditation training on stress-related medical conditions, including psoriasis, type 2 diabetes, fibromyalgia, rheumatoid arthritis, chronic low back, and attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder. In addition, research has consistently shown that mindfulness training reduces symptoms of stress and negative mood states, and increases emotional well-being and quality of life, among persons with chronic illness. The use of mindfulness training in treating specific pain conditions, hypertension, myocardial ischemia, weight control, irritable bowel syndrome, insomnia, human immunodeficiency virus (HIV), and substance abuse is presently under investigation in research supported by the National Institutes of Health.

It appears when we practice mindfulness our brain actually changes.  In one 8-week study, in the participants who had the biggest shifts in frontal brain activity had stronger resistance to getting the flu!  The take away from that study was that mindfulness can help build up your immune system to resist disease.  Study after study shows that practicing mindfulness significantly reduces the stress hormone cortisol. What does that mean to you? Well, your body has an easier time of staying healthy. 

So what do you think, do you want to try mindfulness?

Here is a quick and simple place to start called “mindful breathing.”  Again, this is from the website get.gg:

The primary focus in Mindfulness Meditation is the breathing. However, the primary goal is a calm, non-judging awareness, allowing thoughts and feelings to come and go without getting caught up in them. This creates calmness and acceptance.

1. Sit comfortably, with your eyes closed and your spine reasonably straight.
2. Direct your attention to your breathing.
3. When thoughts, emotions, physical feelings or external sounds occur, simply accept them, giving them the space to come and go without judging or getting involved with them.
4. When you notice that your attention has drifted off and becoming caught up in thoughts or feelings, simply note that the attention has drifted, and then gently bring the attention back to your breathing.

It's ok and natural for thoughts to arise, and for your attention to follow them. No matter how many times this happens, just keep bringing your attention back to your breathing.

Want to read more about mindfulness?

Go here: http://get.gg/mindfulness.htm

Or here: http://www.psychologytools.org/mindfulness.html

Also try the “pray-as-you-go” website. It has MP3 that are developed to help you pray. There is a section called “Preparing to Pray”, which walks you through breathing and body exercises designed to “quiet your mind” and prepare you to enter into prayer. http://www.pray-as-you-go.org/

Want to read the full article by Jeffrey Greeson? Here it is…

Greeson, J. M. (2009). Mindfulness research update: 2008. Complement Health Practitioner, 14(1), 10-18. Retrieved from http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2679512/

Reading anything good lately?

I've been reading for pleasure quite a bit the last week. I've discovered that there is a Goodwill down the street that has a great book section. I can pick up .50 paperbacks and $1.00 hardbacks.  Then, there is *Paperback Swap where you can get books for free.  I picked up about four chick lit books and then a couple more educational books all for under $5 between both sources.  Quite the bargain, right? Let me tell you the real bargain- what I get out of reading...

About 11 years ago, I worked as a Child Protection Social worker. Whew, what a stressful job.  I remember my boss recommending I read the book, "A Child Called It." Let me tell you that was not a good choice for me at the time. I would get home from a long day, start reading the book and start crying. My husband told me, "You've got to stop reading that book. You're making yourself miserable." And I was. A few months later, I was at a discount store and found the book "Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason" in a discount bin (this was before the movie and all the hype). I bought it and started reading it the next night. I never laughed so hard reading a book before. It provided a great escape from a hectic day and was a definite stress reducer. From that point on, I have been a fan of chic lit or as I call "brain candy." It helps take my mind off of the day's events and can completely improve my mood.

I discovered that reading has other benefits too.  Clark and Rumbold (2006) found that reading for pleasure:

• Increases general knowledge
• Increases a better understanding of other cultures
• Increases community participation
• Increases greater insight into human nature and decision-making
• Enhances social skills 
• Decreases loneliness 

So, have you read any good books lately?  Grab a book and escape to a foreign land or learn something new. What are you waiting for?

Clark, C. & Rumbold, K. (2006). Reading for pleasure: A research overview. National literacy trust. Retrieved March 4, 2011 from http://content.scholastic.com/content/collateral_resources/pdf/i/Reading_for_pleasure.pdf

*Paperback Swap info:
Swap, Trade & Exchange Books for Free. It's easy: List books you'd like to swap with other club members. Once a book is requested, mail it to the club member (you pay for the postage to mail the book). In return, you may choose from 5,003,351 available books! Books you request are mailed to you for free. No late fees. No hidden charges. http://www.paperbackswap.com

Being Mindful

Have you noticed how people complain about being busy, but in reality, it sounds like they are bragging? Being busy and stressed out is worn like a badge of honor. You aren't somebody unless you are going non-stop. Is it any wonder this attitude is so prevalent when Corporate America jokes, "If you aren’t stressed, you must not be working hard enough.” Personally, I am tired of being stressed. A few years back, I developed a workshop called "Taking Care of Yourself.” ( Click here to go to my upcoming training page )The training was just as much for me as it was the participants. While putting the materials together, I began reading more about mindfulness. Being mindful is counter-intuitive to our culture. I discovered a good definition by Jon Kabat-Zinn (1994). He explains, “Mindfulness means paying attention in a particular way: on purpose, in the present moment and non-judgmentally.” I began realizing that I was driving along in automatic missing the wonderful opportunities I could be experiencing. As I see it, being mindful is taking life out of automatic and start driving in manual. When you do this, you have to listen to every hum and acceleration of the RPMs. You begin to be more in tune with your own personal "engine.” Well, enough of my car analogy...you get the idea.

This morning I was reading my devotions and being mindful was the topic- except they called it, "Practice the Presence.” I saw it as taking the concept of mindfulness and moving it up a notch. Practicing the Presence is not only about being mindful of ourselves but also becoming mindful of God's presence in our life. The author of the devotion said, "We need to give God a time slot in our lives every day, but even more than that, God needs to be a presence in our lives all day long, every day" (Ortlund, 1994). The author and her husband began to be "mindful" (my words, not hers) in being present with God. Her husband set his watch to go off every 15 minutes so he'd stop and think of God. She wrote the words "Jesus" on a piece of paper and placed it on the floor by her bed. Every morning when she got up her attention was on Him. Through the process, she began to become more aware of God in her life.

This New Year 2010, I want to be mindful of the moment and most importantly of God's presence in my life. My next step is to consider what I can do to remind myself to rejoice in God's presence all day long. What about you? What will you do?

Consider Psalm 89:15, "Blessed are those who have learned to acclaim you, who walk in the light of your presence, O LORD" (NIV).

Kabat-Zinn, J. (1994). Wherever you go, there you are: Mindfulness meditation in everyday life (p.4), New York: Hyperion.

Ortlund, A. (1994). Practice the Presence. In Couple's Devotional Bible. (30) Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan Publishing House.